I want it all...

Friday, October 14, 2016

Relationship 101: Embrace Your Differences

The other day, the hubby and I were talking about how we are almost the complete opposites in almost everything but somehow contrary to what people would think our relationship works and works beautifully.

Of course in the things that matter, we agree. We both have the same religious beliefs, raise our kids the same way, and we believe in the same moral principles in life. But in about everything else we are different. Tony is really quiet in person and I am a social butterfly. I love to dance and will dance the whole night away and Tony will gladly watch me from the table lol. He can speak in front of hundreds of people and public speaking makes me cringe. I love lifting weights and working out, he has to force himself to do that stuff. When we go to a restaurant, my plate will be full of lots of different kinds of veggies and his full of meat. Besides eating Jamaican food, I really could be a vegetarian.

The question people tend to ask when they hear that, is how does that work then? We were talking about it one day and came up with this. The key is to not go into a relationship trying to change the other person. If the important things that matter are the same, then appreciate their differences and embrace them. Tony is cool with me dancing the night away, he will dance a song if I ask him too, but I dont expect him to cut the rug all night with me. If we are eating something different (I love trying all different kinds of food, think its the island in me), he will try whatever I ask him to try but I dont expect him to love it all the time and I wont force him to eat it if he doesnt. When you truly love someone for who they are, you embrace everything about them and you learn to love the things that make them unique. While Tony may not be a social butterfly, at home he is honestly a comedian and it's pretty cool that only people really close to us get to see that special side of him.

Don't get into a relationship expecting to be with someone that is an exact clone of you. Similarites are great but differences can lead to learning and experiencing different things with that person that you may have never gotten to experience. When its that agape love (that God centered love), there are no superficial differences that really matter.

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